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Traits Of An Extreme Redneck


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You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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I'd laugh if it wasn't true!!

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18. You think "The Nutcracker" was something you once did off the high dive.

You some kind of Yanky or something?

No true southern boy would use a High Dive! God made Rocks, Clift's and Rope Swings for us to bust a nut on.

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19. If everyone in your household actually learns something from a potty training video tape.

20. If you have to stop counting sheep because you're becoming aroused.

"Honor is a man's gift to himself" Rob Roy McGregor

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My Son mentioned only in our House we take Bath in the yard.

Walk mile through the woods in snow to catch School Bus only to find School was called off.

We have dirt Floors, level Furniture up with blocks.

We get our water from a Tank we caught Rain Water in.

Our Lights are Colman Lanterns.

We are missing one wall in front of the House, which we have a Tarp over.

Have to clean snow off the Toilet Seat every so often before using.

Have to admit it was our old place for 17 years. We sure miss it.



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