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What makes a trout bum (the sims waders test)

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Believe it or not, but I was fishin with some fellas the other night, and the topic of discussion before fishing seemed to evolve around the wicking ability of gortex. Through out the conversation I picked up on what was the true test to see if you are really a trout bum. It has been brought to my attention that if the fish are really biting good, the water is cold, and the pre fishing consumption of beverages has taken its toll, just go ahead and let it go. Before you are done fishing everything should be dry.

Anybody want to test this and give the rest of us a report on thier findings

Are you a real Trout Bum???


A Little Rain Won't Hurt Them Fish.....They're Already Wet!!

Visit my website at..

Ozark Trout Runners


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Been there, done that, got the tee shirt... :bath:

The one thing you want to avoid is the result of the gastro-intestinal workings of a duck blind breakfast of sausage, biscuits, gravy, and eggs followed by a chili dog lunch. If there are still ducks coming into the alley, you will soon find yourself with a balloon of methane gas infiltrating the neoprene which results in a condition of the wader fabric commonly known as "perma-phart..." :haix::blur:

However, the release of fluids to which you refer does have the advantage of keeping your feet warm... at least for a while...



"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

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Amen to Terry's above comments. The effect is quite the same when you lie in a ground blind in an Idaho November at 4:00am waiting for Snow Geese. While gore-tex has wicking abilities, a canvas ground blind does not. You see, the gore-tex will eventually allow the odoriferous emination to seep out, but the wind and water proofed blind will hold everything in a suspended state until your hunting buddy surrenders and opts to breathe -25 degree oxygen instead of 98.6 degree methane.

I'd say that makes me a goose bum, but somehow that evokes a totally different image than that of a trout bum.

Now, do you want to know how I froze my hair to the ground in this same ground blind?

Paul Rone

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Hmmmm... that straps to you way up at the knee... wonder if they make one that straps down around your ankles? :goodmood::goodjob:

"Goose bum"... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I guess that makes me a "'dillo bum..." :huh1:

and a "deer bum"... "duck bum"... "turkey bum"... :hmmm:

and another kind of "bum" before I met my beautiful bride... :shy:



"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

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Awright, you twisted my arm!

I warned you!

SOOOOOOOoooooooo. . .

There we were, in a ground blind. For those of you who might not know about these, I'll describe it. It's like a 7 foot square canvas sleeping bag, camouflaged and waterproofed. It's really thick and heavy, but you can stay warm and hidden in it for a long time.

So anyway, it's WAY cold. Like -25 degrees. We were drinking hot stuff to try to stay warm while we set out our 125 decoys in the middle of a 300 acre wheat field. LOTS of hot stuff.

There are no trees to hide behind, should you decide to 'see a man about a horse'. Typically, you have to wiggle and roll out of the blind and relieve yourself while lying on your side. If you stand up, you risk alerting the geese, who can see you way before you see or hear them. So my brother rolls out and shakes the dew off the lillies and crawls back in while I blow on the goose call. I handed him the goose call and just as I was about to start wiggling out, I hear a really faint "honk."

My brother puts a hand on my chest to tell me not to move. He starts making feeding sounds on the caller and we hear it again. "honk." OK, so I guess I won't be getting any relief soon. The geese were coming. We called to them for another 15 minutes before they came into sight - and boy, what a sight! There must have been 500 geese in the air! That's when I realized I was wet from my head all the way down my back! I guess I was really excited.

The geese circled for another couple of minutes trying to decide if they were going to land. When they started to flare in, my brother whispers, "Now!"

He sat up and started shooting. BAM! BAM! BAM!

But not me. I was stuck. I tried to sit up, but my hat and my hair were stuck to the plastic bottom of the blind! I gave a mighty heave and up I came, shotgun to the shoulder, blasting big white birdies outta the sky.

I was vaguely aware of some lingering pain on the back of my head, but more importantly, I still had to 'make water'. Once the rest of the geese disappeared and we stood up to gather our kill, I realized something very important. Yes, I had been frozen to the ground in a puddle of urine - BUT IT WASN'T MINE!!

My brother was kind enough to do his business directly uphill from me. He still thinks that's funny.

Paul Rone

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