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Why we should go fishing instead of doing mowing the Yard

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I received this from a client the other day. I thought I would pass it along to my fishing brothers.

mGOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is

going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets,

thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden

plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply

with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts

butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast

garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.

They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill

them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract

butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sodworms. It's sensitive to

temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing


ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep

it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any

other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.

That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it

-- sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And

when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on

the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a

lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops

growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they

can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer

stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring

to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn leaves fall to the

ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect

the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance

the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new

circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay

to have them hauled away.

GOD: No fooling? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the

winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something

which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of

the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're

in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid movie about....

GOD: Never mind. I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

"A bad day fishing is still a Great Day"


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Hmmmm... I WAS gonna mow today.... maybe not.... :lol:

There was a show on Discovery or History or one of those channels about the history of the yard or garden. It's another one of those "keep up with the Jones'" things that took off.

The really bad part is that it is now in the covenants of most subdivisions...



"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

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If I can secure that house on Table Rock it is perfect! NO GRASS ROCK YARD. My mower will be Round-Up!



Someone please buy our house in St Louis


Another Beautiful Day In The Ozarks

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Great....... :bingo: I always knew I was right about not raking the leaves until spring :=D: I will make sure my better half reads this :O_O:

"God gave fishermen expectancy, so they would never tire of throwing out a line"

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Yep, and this is semi-serious...I've always thought a clean lawn of grass was pretty boring. I LIKE a patchy lawn with crabgrass and dandelions and clover and johnson grass. Besides, it's a lot better for the birds...attracts more varieties of bugs for them to eat. And the day I water my lawn will be the day that I've finally gone senile. Of course, it helps to live on your own 40 acres and not have to put up with the neighbors talking about your ratty lawn. And my landscaping is mostly native wildflowers, so if it's a little weedy, who would know? The only thing that bothers me a bit is that I planted some gama grass years ago in a couple of my flower beds. That stuff spreads like crazy, and really isn't all that pretty, so I have been trying to eradicate it ever since. And although I've gotten most of it out of the flower beds, the stuff is sprouting all over the lawn. That would be okay, except it grows about 5 times faster than anything else growing in the lawn, so two days after mowing you got these foot high blades of grass sticking up out of the lawn.

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