Old Vance Randolph Joke

[zander]

Two tourists fished in Lake Taneycomo for two days, without any results. The third day, they both got drunk. About the middle of the morning they happened to run into a school of giant crappie, and caught the limit within a few minutes. The boys puzzled a while about the best way to mark this fishing-hole, so that they could find it again. Finally they just cut a notch in the gunwale of the boat, and started to row back to the hotel.

Suddenly one cried out, "It won't work! We'll never find that place again!"

The other was indignant. "What do you mean, it won't work?" he demanded. "All we got to do is fish under that mark I cut on the gunwale."

His friend began to weep. "Don't you realize," he cried, "there ain't one chance in 50 we'll be able to rent that same boat tomorrow?"

[Al Agnew]

One of my most treasured books is "We Always Lie to Strangers" by Randolph. One joke in it that always sticks in my mind is when a traveling salesman stops at a crossroads in some hardscrabble Ozark county to ask directions and strikes up a conversation with an Ozarker there. As they are talking, a cat runs past them full speed, heading west. They continue talking, but soon, ZIP, another cat runs past, going in the same direction. After this happens a couple more times in the next few minutes, the salesman finally asks the Ozarker what's up with the cats.

"Well," the Ozarker says, "about two miles thataway happens to be the only patch of dirt in this whole county."