Flyfishing side of the brain!!!!

[whiteriverinnmoose]

Hey There Flyfisherman,

After a week or so of reading your posts and responses to posts(including my own).I have come to realize that on this forum, there is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom probably unsurpassed anywhere else on the globe.

As well read "rode skollers" and "werl travlers"I am certain that you all have read the many volumes and studies of the right and left sides of the brain.As I was thumbing through one of the many studies by one of the worlds greatest scientist,titled"Writee or Leftee,which one are yee?"I suddenly realized that not one single person had ever completed a thorough and factual study of the most important side of the brain,"The Flyfishing Side."Oh by the way does any body really know how many sides a brain has?I sure dont,but I know that I have a flyfishing side ,cause my wife tells me thats the side I use all the time,and something about it being microscopic in size.

Well after giving it a lot of thought ,my only friend, Big Bob Backcast and I have decided to embark on our own scientific study.After our initial findings we are certain that we will be published in" Flyfishing With the Good Ol Boys" or another national best selling magazine.

Our initial studies have turned up little known truths ,that we feel ,will change the world as we know it.Our findings show that without a doubt the Flyfishing side of the brain is always active,just like "the perty gurl watchin side."BUT,more importantly ,at certain times of the year,the flyfishing side of the brain takes over the whole darn thing,making it virtually impossible to do anything except tie flies,buy flies ,cast flies,fish with flies ,or think about and plan to do these said activities.

If Big Bob Backcast and I are succesful in our endeavors,and are published in one of these magazines ,Things Are Gonna Change FAST!!Marriages will be saved,wives will hear and finally believe what they have been hearing for years.Flyshops will pop up everywhere and the owners will singlehandedly put Malwart out of business.The very highend flyrods like Goomis,Rage,And Dorvis will sell for 50 dollars each,and yet these companies will become fortune 500 companies due to the volume being sold(mainly to spinfishermen who were "closet flyfishermen"desperately needing to "come out" but afraid they would not be accepted or understood."Global Flyfishing" will become the buzzword in every houehold.Trout will spawn 2 or maybe 3 times a year,even in put and take fisheries (go figure that one out).Little children will have dry fly stands on the streets in the summertime during hatches next to the coolaid stands because they have done the research and realize network marketing of flies can be HUGE ,IF and I do mean IF,you get in on the ground floor.

I think you all get the idea.Although funding for our research is very,very scarce,Bob told me if we are published,we are certain to win a Nobel prize,or a Grammy,or an Emmy or something.He also told me if we win one of those COOL awards,we will be able to get a job at a flyshop ANYWHERE in the world and demand minimum wage and they will pay it.

Now thats what Im talkin about,Hittin the Bigtime.Hey ,wait a minute,this thing could be HUGE!!!!Does anybody reading this know anything about "The Deer Hunting Side of the Brain."

Heres to seein the backin,

White River Inn Moose

[Guest flyfishBDS]

I think you need to use that side of your brain urgently Moose!

Here's for low water lmao

funny

Steve

[Randall]

yup... that there deer huntin side of the brain is closely associateded with the turkey huntin side of the brain which become active in mid fall and spring based on the trace of a doe in estrus or the most sacred of sounds, a gobble. in my own studies, i have linked activity in these areas with symptoms such as gettin outta bed 20 minutes after you fall asleep, a sharp decline in grades, wearing clothes you cain't see, furgettin to shave, and an overwhelming obsession with backstraps, beer, and a beard that drags the ground.

so far we got us

flyfishin

deer huntin

turkey huntin

purdy girl

anybody know about a wingshootin side or a mudtruck side?

[whiteriverinnmoose]

Randall,

Did you mean backstraps and beers(certainly not)or did you mean backstap and bears.Personally I gave up the morbid liquid 30 years ago,but most of my buddies have become self proclaimed experts on the subject of shall we call her"the grand mistress of hops."

Now I have done a little bit of research ,if you will ,on the "wingshootin Side" and it is very very interesting.Knowing without a doubt that my shootin skills are as good as anyone in the "werls".I am always prepared to get a limit of ducks every single time I go huntin, cause I love to shoot ducks almost as much as I love to catch one of these huge 6 or 7 inch rainbows on my flypole.Especially those ones with the "purdy green heads and the Kerly little tails."The one thing I cant understand is ,everybody knows its a FACT that it takes 1 box of 10 or 12 gauge shells to get one duck,so why in the world would my buddies at the duck club only take enough to kill one duck,

At first I thought I had it all figured out.Most all of my "Duckin" buddies are little scrawny fellers and they cant eat as many ducks as I can so thay were being conservationists.NOPE,thats not it at all.I am gonna let you all in on a tiny little secret I have figured out.

This is gonna be somewhat mathematical,and through readin some of yalls post I have figured everybody else here is philosophical,so follow along real closely.Just take for example if a fit and trim hunter like say "myself" decides to go huntin ducks.First of all this said hunter needs to have some insulation for when the water is cold,so lets say he weighs 300 or so pounds,then he needs 6 boxes of 10 gauge shells so if they are flyin he can get a limit,then he needs a 20 lb 10 gauge pump to shoot with,and then he needs 48 decoys on his back and about 6 or 7 sandwiches to eat in between flights to keep his metabolism burning without burning any of his insulation factor.Dont forget to throw in some waders, 10 millmeter"more insulation".Now I am ready to go.

Now I can assure you that being in northern arkansas on a high limestone bluff,that any duck hunter worth his salt can walk around in these hills with this exact load with absolutely NO PROBLEM.I know this for a fact cause I do it every season,you know, I kinda practice for the opener.BUT here in lies "the rub".When you take this same fit and trim hunter to the duck club marsh he becomes a whole different animal.He can get up just as early,ride a quad just as fast to the duck hole,and make screamin noises on his duck call so most of his scrawny buddies like to hunt other holes and stuff like that,(my duck club has some kind of pack rat that eats the reeds out of all your duck calls in the middle of the night so I dont call much anymore,Does anybody else have these nocturnal rats,if you do ,lets go huntin,we dont have to call,do we?)

Well anyway when I got to the marsh all my buddies just walked out to the blind like there was nothing to it,just scooted right out there like mudhens on the water.Keep in mind ,they only had enough shells for one duck each,one lousy box.Well needless to say I took off after them like a well trained racehorse,UH OH.I immediately noticed the texture difference in the ground.It wasnt as firm as my practice ground,and it was sticky ,REAL sticky,kinda like gorilla glue.Well at first I fell down and my 48 decoys pushed my big bald noggin deep into the gumbo,then I rolled over on my back and I heard a whole flock of snow geese goin over.NOPE,it was my scrawny buddies highpitched laughing.I thought it was snowgeese til I got the mud out of my ears.They said,"I looked like little black sambo or the Tar Baby."then my waders filled up with 32 degree water and amazingly enough 10 millimeter waders will keep water cold like a stanley thermos.The straw that broke the camels back was all my sandwiches were soakin wet and I was destined to burn some of my insulation so I called it quits.I took the ONE step back to the levy and rode my quad back to camp fast.

Well the moral of the story is ,if you want to hunt ducks just take one box of shells,gettin around is a whole lot easier, and eat your duck slowly.Both of my buddies came back with limits of greenheads and said they just used a box each,but I knew they were lyin Cause,first of all I am not stupid ,and second of all I saw all those litlle silver bands on ther legs,they were obviously tame ducks that were chained together.

Tight Lines,

Moose

[Randall]

ahhhh haaa haaa haaaa

now if it takes 1 box for 1 duck, imagine what it takes for nature's knuckleball-- the mighty, the nasty, the fun to shoot... the dove

all i know is it sounds like world war 14 when the birds get to flyin on sept. 1

i'll never ferget the first (and last) time some retard put me face first in the dirt tryin to shoot a bird no more than 3 steps from me and about the same distance from the ground. ever see a sunflower get shot? i have.

add my play by play commentary about how wonderful a shooter i am cause i can burn 3 rounds, reload, and shoot 3 more before the bird ever has a chance to get away from bein outta range and you got yerself one helluva time.

[MrsDucky]

Only one problem with the theory of the Fly Fishing Side of the Brain-it isn't limited to just the male of the species! Those of us females with that part have been overlooked in your research. I'll be glad to do some research of my own, as long as I get in on the ground floor fly shop money! It'll save me on fly tying materials! I also know some females with the Hunting Side, as well. Now as to the "purty girl watching side," fortunately, I can't help with any females with that one!

[Randall]

oooh... type 2 error, good call... maybe we should do some more studies and make sure the sample is truly random this time.

[Al Agnew]

Hmmm...could those women in waders actually be...transflyvestites? Or vestbians? My wife, who is ordinarily a typical woman, largely incomprehensible to me as a male, suddenly turns into a serious flyfisherperson when you get her near a trout river...could she be suffering from muddler personality disorder?

[Randall]

uhh........................... sure.