Crappie Time

[Buckshotdad1960]

Thanks Reb,

You know, you’re alright. No I mean it! Your ok! I don’t care what your kids say. LOL These hillbillies don’t know what crappies are! I’m just trying to locate some so I can pick up a few in the spring but so far no luck. I may have to go against everything I believe in as well and cross that mason/Dixon line! “Have pole – will travel” may become my battle cry! Thanks for looking out for me. If you hear of anything in my neck of the woods let me know.

[ozark trout fisher]

Yeah, you’re my brother Larry! LOL

I like your post too! In fact I’ve been looking for a lock nest monster every since you brought it up! I like your blog page. I’m glad to see you have a sense of humor. Some people just don’t get my humor. I posted a response that I thought was funny in a thread called “3p Triathalon” but I heard those puckering sphincter noises again. LOL Oh well, it’s a tough crowd, a tough crowd! What can you do but march on?

I think I'm starting to get your humor..... In any case it kinda lightens up a thread.

[Buckshotdad1960]

I’M JUST TRYING TO FIND SOME CRAPPIES! LOL

My kin folk have all turned again me! They’ve done give me the evil eye! They want rid of me because I’m old and can’t find any crappies! I can’t feed’em! My fingers are all crippled up with the rumatissum and I can’t turn my reel any more! I’m all worn out in the service of my family. LOL

I remember the first night I meet my wife. I could tell she liked me. I liked her too so I didn’t beat around the bush, I just told her straight out I didn’t like a woman that was too sensitive or vulnerable……. So she stabbed me! LOL

When I found out she could cook I married her! But now that I’m old and all crippled up with the rumatissum and can’t find the crappie, she carries me out to the cement pond everyday and throws me in! There’s no brush for me to grab hold of with my old crippled hands to pull myself out! LOL (Where’s that darn violin)(Violin starts) I can’t even swim! I just have to float and hope the wind blows me to shore. (Begins to cry) Someday the wind doesn’t even blow! If only I could find some crappies close to the house then I’d be a hero again and maybe they would feed me! I just weigh fifty pounds. (Cough, cough, wheeze)

So please, if anyone out there knows where an old crippled up fifty pound man can find some crappies and you want to help save my life please call this toll free number at:

1-800-HERE-THEY-ARE that’s 1-800-HERE-THEY-ARE call now, operators are standing by!

Void where prohibited by Law

All liar’s and pranksters will be shot

[Buckshotdad1960]

Crickets!

[Buckshotdad1960]

I can’t believe it! LOL

Look at ya! See how ya are?

You’d all leave a poor helpless old crippled 50lb man floating on his back in the cement pond rather than give up one of your fishing spots. Shame on you! Shame, shame, shame! I’ve got algae growing on my back and moss growing on my chest! The ducks use me as an island, and still no one cares! LOL (Violin starts) Where you born without a heart? Where’s your compassion? (sniffles) Think of my poor, poor little hillbilly children. Can’t you just see their poor little sunken in brown eyes looking up at you begging for a bite of crappie? We’ve all got rickets from no omega Threes! Little Timmy can’t feel his legs! Where’s the crappie poppa? Where’s the crappie poppa, they ask me as they cry their selves to sleep at night! Maybe they’ll tell me tomorrow I say, maybe tomorrow! I kiss their little foreheads and shoe away the flies. LOL (oh, that was good right there) Then I spread the news papers out over their little rickety bodies and start to gently sing until all I can hear is the sound of little growling tummies…….

When the sun came up this morning

I took the time to watch it rise

I thought how small and unimportant

All my troubles seem to be

And how lucky

Another day belongs to me

Please share the crappies

So my children will live you see

You’ll save their lives

And little Timmy will still be with me

Then in the pond we’ll put some crappies

So we can watch’em spawn

And I’ll say how lucky

That you were a friend to me

And I may cry a little

With joy on bended knees

As I choke my wife

Because she was mean to me

LOL

Come on, I ked, I ked!

Oh well, it’s my song it should have a happy ending, remember I’ve been floating in the cement pond because you won’t share your fishing spot! I’m sorry but I’m just a little delusional from the hunger, the cold, the algae, the moss, the ducks – PLUS I CAN”T SEE DAMNIT! LOL (starts to cry) I MISSED EVERYONE LOVE’S RAMOND BECAUSE OF YOU! LOL

[RSBreth]

This entire post has me starting to believe that the Drake's "hazing ritual" has some merit... you know, before someone has full rights to post.. http://www.drakemag.com/messageboard/viewt...f=1&t=13313