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Posted

A Texan was visiting his friend here in Missouri. As they were driving down a country riad, a turkey ran across just in front of them. The Missourian exclaimed, "Did you just see that big turkey?"

The Texan replied, "That scrawny little bird was a Turkey? Down in Texas, everything is much bigger than they are everywhere else. Turkeys back home are huge."

About a mile later they saw a large snapping turtle in the road, about 10-20 lbs. The Texan asked "What is that?" The Missourian replied "Don't let it bite you, that's a tick."

Don May

I caught you a delicious bass.

Posted

A Missouri farmer was down in Houston at an agriculteral convention. At one of the intermissions, he was chatting with a rancher from Texas.

The rancher asks, "How much land do you own?" The Missourian responded proudly, "100 acres." The Texan snickered a little.

The Missourian asked, "How much land do you own?" The Texan thought for a minute and responded, "Well, let's put it this way, I can get in my pickup at sun up and drive till the sun sets, and still not reach the other side of my property."

The farmer from Missouri said, "Yep, I used own a truck like that."

wader

Posted

I've heard that there wouldn't be a Texas today if the Alamo had a back door????

duckydoty

A Little Rain Won't Hurt Them Fish.....They're Already Wet!!

Visit my website at..

Ozark Trout Runners

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Posted

DD wrote:

<I've heard that there wouldn't be a Texas today if the Alamo had a back door?>

'Course it had one DD! How do you think those Meskins got in!

************************************************************************

On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were up there already. The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them. Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and sked...

"Jim, are we landscaping today?"

"You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in their struggle for independence." ---Charles Austin Beard

Posted

A lady comes up to a cop and exclaims she had just been violated by a man from Texas. He asked her what happened. She replied that he snuck up behind her, put a bag over her head so she couldn't see him, then proceeded to take advantage.... "It was a man from Texas!"

The cop asks, "Excuse me ma'am, but if you couldn't see him, how do you know he was from Texas?"

"Well," she said, "he had a great big belt buckle, and a little bitty..."

TIGHT LINES, YA'LL

 

"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

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