You look too normal! the only people they sponsor now are either Hot women like Mariko Izumi, or Crazy acting guys like Mike Iaconelli. Perhaps we could buy you a queer eye makeover to get you in shape. Shave your head, body piercings, and facial hair. Then start behavior modification therapy (kind of like "A Clockwork Orange")you will then be like a magnet to the sponsors
BTW, my friend is supposed to be one of the top disc golf players in the nation, Scott Martin.