The Republican Fisherman

[patfish]

The Republican Fisherman

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'

She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'

'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct , but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.'

The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.

[Chief Grey Bear]

I knew from just reading the title that this was just going to be all wrong.

Everybody knows that all republicans think that all fish comes in the form of sticks from the freezer section of you local grocer.

[Bman]

The Republican Fisherman

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'

She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'

'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct , but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.'

The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.

Good one! SO TRUE!!!

[bigredbirdfan]

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican

candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win.. There was

much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long

ice fishing competition seemed the sportsman-like way to settle things. The

candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the

election.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest

take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota .

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out

separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for

counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the

first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.

Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just

having another 'bad hair' day or something, and hopefully he would

catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in

again with none.

That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said,

"Obama,

I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to

go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see

just how he is cheating."

The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), Harry said to

Obama, "Well, tell me, how is John McCain Cheating?"

Obama replied, "Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's

cutting holes in the ice!"

[jdmidwest]

We Republicans normally practice Catch and Release................