Old Man River

[Flysmallie]

Some would even say retarded!

Hey you can't prove that.

[Buckshotdad1960]

Flysmallie,

I don’t know this might be proof! LOL

See, 15 year olds are easy to understand once you get the key code. Their adult wanna be’s and don’t have a clue as to what they want. It’s like walking your dog, keep a loose leash and only jerk them back if they start to jump out in front of a car. Remember in three to five years your job is done whether you want it to be or not. I know, I had trouble letting go. Keep a close eye on her and a closer eye on her friends. She’s about to enter into the drug years. Up until now it’s been easy. The hardest years are just ahead. All my kids made it but only because I made it very clear that if they wanted to do drugs I would be there to make sure that every buzz they caught would be a bummer! Yes, good kids can do drugs to. Just let your guard down and see what happens. Let me tell you a quick story that’s happening right now as we speak this very minute. Back in the summer my daughter stopped by with her girlfriend and her girl friends brother, Thomas. The girls went inside to see my wife while Thomas and I loaded a cooler full of soft drinks and some life jackets up in the car for their trip to Hootentown.

Thomas and I stood outside talking while we waited for the girls to return. Thomas was a good looking, clean cut and a well mannered kid, about 25 years old. He was a great big farm boy who looked like he bench pressed tractors for fun. After about 15 minutes I decided I liked him. But there was just one thing that bugged me. My boy had told me that he had heard that when Thomas was a teenager he had smoked Meth and had to go to rehab. So I just flat out asked him if he was smoking Meth. He assured me that was all in the past and didn’t even cross his mind anymore. I said son that’s good news because let me be honest with you, if I ever heard of you smoking it around my daughter or was trying to get her to smoke some of it, you and I would be taking a little trip to the sand box! He looked down at me and said, I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand! What’s the sand box? Where’s it at? I said that’s not important, just you understand my meaning! You don’t come back from the sand box son. He threw his head back and laughed and said, I see. Then he snarled his face and bounced his chest muscles up and down a few times and said, do you really think you can put all this in the sand box old man? He didn’t know it but I had already calculated his answer and had a well choreographed response of my own. In the blink of an eye I pulled my snub nose 38 off my back, cocked the hammer and stuck it in his big face right between his big eyes and said, what do you bet me I’m not going to find that to be a problem! Now, if you ever wanted to know what size turds giants *hit, try that sometime. And you know, I never had a problem out of that boy. I was even hoping him and my daughter might get together someday. I might have gotten some great big strapping grandsons from him. But, last week, some of his old buddies from back in the day stopped by and talked him into shooting up some Meth cooked in jet fuel with them and he O. D. ed. Now he lays brain dead in the hospital and my daughter is there right now to help console her friend. She called a little bit ago and said that they did another brain scan on him to prove to his parents that he is for sure brain dead so that they can make the decision to pull the plug today. Now if that doesn’t just break your heart and show you just how vigilant you need to be with your children, even after their grown, then nothing can.

My advice to you is keep every thing in perspective and don’t sweat the small stuff.

[eric1978]

Wow. This is getting NOWHERE.

[ozark trout fisher]

Flysmallie,

I don’t know this might be proof! LOL

See, 15 year olds are easy to understand once you get the key code. Their adult wanna be’s and don’t have a clue as to what they want. It’s like walking your dog, keep a loose leash and only jerk them back if they start to jump out in front of a car. Remember in three to five years your job is done whether you want it to be or not. I know, I had trouble letting go. Keep a close eye on her and a closer eye on her friends. She’s about to enter into the drug years. Up until now it’s been easy. The hardest years are just ahead. All my kids made it but only because I made it very clear that if they wanted to do drugs I would be there to make sure that every buzz they caught would be a bummer! Yes, good kids can do drugs to. Just let your guard down and see what happens. Let me tell you a quick story that’s happening right now as we speak this very minute. Back in the summer my daughter stopped by with her girlfriend and her girl friends brother, Thomas. The girls went inside to see my wife while Thomas and I loaded a cooler full of soft drinks and some life jackets up in the car for their trip to Hootentown.

Thomas and I stood outside talking while we waited for the girls to return. Thomas was a good looking, clean cut and a well mannered kid, about 25 years old. He was a great big farm boy who looked like he bench pressed tractors for fun. After about 15 minutes I decided I liked him. But there was just one thing that bugged me. My boy had told me that he had heard that when Thomas was a teenager he had smoked Meth and had to go to rehab. So I just flat out asked him if he was smoking Meth. He assured me that was all in the past and didn’t even cross his mind anymore. I said son that’s good news because let me be honest with you, if I ever heard of you smoking it around my daughter or was trying to get her to smoke some of it, you and I would be taking a little trip to the sand box! He looked down at me and said, I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand! What’s the sand box? Where’s it at? I said that’s not important, just you understand my meaning! You don’t come back from the sand box son. He threw his head back and laughed and said, I see. Then he snarled his face and bounced his chest muscles up and down a few times and said, do you really think you can put all this in the sand box old man? He didn’t know it but I had already calculated his answer and had a well choreographed response of my own. In the blink of an eye I pulled my snub nose 38 off my back, cocked the hammer and stuck it in his big face right between his big eyes and said, what do you bet me I’m not going to find that to be a problem! Now, if you ever wanted to know what size turds giants *hit, try that sometime. And you know, I never had a problem out of that boy. I was even hoping him and my daughter might get together someday. I might have gotten some great big strapping grandsons from him. But, last week, some of his old buddies from back in the day stopped by and talked him into shooting up some Meth cooked in jet fuel with them and he O. D. ed. Now he lays brain dead in the hospital and my daughter is there right now to help console her friend. She called a little bit ago and said that they did another brain scan on him to prove to his parents that he is for sure brain dead so that they can make the decision to pull the plug today. Now if that doesn’t just break your heart and show you just how vigilant you need to be with your children, even after their grown, then nothing can.

My advice to you is keep every thing in perspective and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Somehow this thread went from asking for a river map, to arguing about hillbillies, to having a weird conversation about parenting. I'm so confused!!! You all lost me about 3 pages ago

[Flysmallie]

Somehow this went from asking for a river map, to arguing about hillbillies, to having a weird conversation about peoples kids. I'm so confused!!! You all lost me about 3 pages ago

You guys try to keep up with me and Buckshot. We are going to discuss the origins of the universe next.

[ozark trout fisher]

You guys try to keep up with me and Buckshot. We are going to discuss the origins of the universe next.

I have a feeling I know where Buckshot thinks the world originated from...... Crappie!

[Buckshotdad1960]

Hey! Us old guys are talking here! What do you mean this is going no where? You’re getting what you paid for. We’re just killing time, waiting on you guys to get back. How come you didn’t bring any of your friends with you and tell them to share with us what they know about the river?

I can understand eric1978 not having much to say, he hast to keep a low profile because he’s probably wanted by the law! LOL But you Ozark trout fish, I know you’ve got friends. Where are they? And Crappie is a real planet in the aquatic constellation of Aquarium. Fished it! LOL

[eric1978]

Hey! Us old guys are talking here! What do you mean this is going no where? You’re getting what you paid for. We’re just killing time, waiting on you guys to get back. How come you didn’t bring any of your friends with you and tell them to share with us what they know about the river?

I can understand eric1978 not having much to say, he hast to keep a low profile because he’s probably wanted by the law! LOL But you Ozark trout fish, I know you’ve got friends. Where are they? And Crappie is a real planet in the aquatic constellation of Aquarium. Fished it! LOL

It's not that I don't have much to say, it's that I don't know what to say on this thread, since it's really not about anything.

So, I'll just add this in the spirit of notes about nothing (ten points for whoever gets the reference...cricket?):

Salami, Salami, Balogna

[Buckshotdad1960]

Cricket!

I WIN! I WIN!

AAAHHH hula hula hula hubba bubbaaaaa……suckemlickem

[ozark trout fisher]

Wow. This wins the award for the world's weirdest thread.