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Posted

John submitted this to me for the newsletter and it did go out as part of the publication but I thought it would be nice to post it here and get you guys to comment-add to the list.

I have heard the term “trout bum” bandied about quite a bit. Heck on occasion, I have even been called one. However, I am not sure that I know exactly what one is. I took it upon myself to investigate this term. I read the very insightful book by John Gierach on the subject. I traveled to the various places where trout bums congregate. I went fishing on the Madison, the Deschutes, the Henry’s Fork, the Green, the San Juan, the Yellow Stone and every other trout stream where I thought I might learn something useful on the subject. I attended National Conclaves, Southern Conclaves, Sow Bug Roundups, and the “Home Waters” Expo. I visited lodges, fly shops, bars and fishing cabins. I have talked to countless anglers. Sadly, I am unable to find a succinct definition. What I was able to identify from all of this learned research is that there are certain indicative behaviors that can predict whether you are a trout bum. The more of these that you exhibit the more likely it is that you are one. I have listed a few of these indicators below.

If your cat is named Winston and your dog is called Lefty, you might be a trout bum.

If your family had to eat Christmas dinner on TV trays because your dining room table is set aside for fly tying, you might be a trout bum.

If you missed the birth of your first child because it coincided with the start of the sulphur fly hatch, you might be a trout bum.

If your fly tying vise cost more than your automobile, you might be a trout bum.

If one or more of your children were conceived on the back seat of a drift boat during a lull in the salmon fly hatch, you might be a trout bum.

If your wedding reception was held in a fly shop, you might be a trout bum.

If your wife wants to do something romantic on your anniversary and you take her night fishing, you might be a trout bum.

If she thinks you finally hit a home run with that idea, she might be a trout bum.

If you have ever worn a fishing shirt to a funeral, you might be a trout bum.

If Wapsi or Orvis makes more than three deliveries a week to your home, you might be a trout bum.

If you can identify every insect you encounter on the river with its complete scientific name (in Latin) but can’t remember your children’s names, you might be a trout bum.

If the only time anyone has seen you cry was when you broke the tip on your bamboo rod, you may be a trout bum.

If your greatest fear in life is that when you die your wife will sell your fishing tackle for what you told her you paid for it, you may be a trout bum.

This list is by no means complete. I would not be concerned unless I exhibited more than five indicators.

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Posted

If you chose a college based on how good the fishing was close by....or if your waders and boots are not completely dry between fishing outings you could very well be a trout bum

There are two types of people. Those who dream dreams and wish, then there are the do'ers. I am a do'er!

Posted

If you have an evil grin on your face as you tell your wife about the great shopping at this hot vacation spot called Yellstone Park, you just might be a troutbum. :rolleyes:

Glass Has Class

"from the laid back lane in the Arkansas Ozarks"

Posted

If you ever ran to Branson to pick up a swingset for your kids birthday and just fished "a little" since you were there anyway...

Eh Dano??

jOrOb

"The Lord has blessed us all today... It's just that he has been particularly good to me." Rev MacLean

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

If you honestly believe that you can save money by tying your own flies, you may be a trout bum.

John Berry

OAF CONTRIBUTOR

Fly Fishing For Trout

(870)435-2169

http://www.berrybrothersguides.com

berrybrothers@infodash.com

Posted

If you check the vacuum cleaner bag for "interesting dubbing possibilities".... You might be a trout bum...

If you keep your waders at the ready by your bed just in case a fishing buddy calls at 4 am.... You might be a trout bum...

If you think a "stock tip" is the end part of your Bass Pro 5 wt.... You might be a trout bum...

If your master bedroom is now your tying room.... You might be a trout bum...

If you've ever cast a fly to a roadside ditch because "it looks promising" .... You might be a trout bum...

If you trade your wife's car in for a '72 IH Scout.... You might be a trout bum...

If the Corp/SWL generation information phone number is on your speed dial.... You might be a trout bum...

If you have more fly boxes than your wife has pairs of shoes.... You might be a trout bum...

If you have a designated parking space at a walk-in access.... You might be a trout bum...

If your wife thinks Conclave is a business trip for you.... You might be a trout bum...

If you ever got strange looks from women while shopping in the cosmetic or sewing section at Wal-Mart .... You might be a trout bum...

If you've ever had a guide ask YOU to take HIM fishing .... You might be a trout bum...

TIGHT LINES, YA'LL

 

"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

Posted

Terry,

Excellent input. You got me on the fly box quip. May I use some of these in future articles?

John Berry

OAF CONTRIBUTOR

Fly Fishing For Trout

(870)435-2169

http://www.berrybrothersguides.com

berrybrothers@infodash.com

Posted

Sure, John... Be my guest.

TIGHT LINES, YA'LL

 

"There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process." - Paul O’Neil

Posted

Two days ago, while driving home down my country road, I ran over a squirrel. I thought a moment, backed up, and got out. I noticed the squirrel was dead so I cut off his tail and put it in my garage. Trout Bum?

Don May

I caught you a delicious bass.

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