catholic humor

[Maverickpro201]

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads...

[Mitch f]

Us Protestants have jokes too:

A Baptist Church was looking for a new preacher and had several tryouts.One of the tryouts was very excited because it was very close to his home, and would be a perfect match for him. He memorized the sermon over and over and over again until he had it perfected. He walked up to the podium and recited the first words of his sermon “behold I come”, he was so nervous after that, he forgot all of his next words. He thought if he started over again that it would come back to him…so he said it louder…”Behold I come” . He still couldn’t remember, and decided to scream out “BEHOLD I COME!” again, but this time he pounded the podium with so much force that he lost balance and flew forward and landed in the lap of an old lady in the first row. He was so traumatized and embarrassed that he told the old lady that he was so sorry that this happened. The old lady said “no problem, you warned me three times”