Monkey Business

[bfishn]

While the nation wrestles with affodable health care, and the State of Washington addresses gender bias issues in their legalese, the newly-elected legislature in the State of Arkansas had some very serious business to attend to... making sure your monkey is registered.

I kid you not. In effect, as of today, Arkansas Act 1337 requires you to fill & submit the following form to register your monkey (don't forget to attach a picture and a check for $50);

http://www.healthy.arkansas.gov/aboutADH/Documents/Acts/PrimateFormfillin.pdf

You can etch the language of the new law in your brain at;

http://www.arkleg.state.ar.us/assembly/2013/2013R/Acts/Act1337.pdf

Were in not for my personal mantra of "only kill what you'll eat", I'd be inclined to follow suit with Mr. Wrench's recent opinion... :-)

[Jack Jones]

Couldn't resist.....sometimes I miss the older Saturday Night Live!

[Greasy B]

Good idea, this way when your Monkey bites off your fingers or eats your face the authorities will have a positive Identification. .

[Quillback]

I would register my monkeys, but do the authorities realize what a pain it is to go out in the woods and round up 45 chimpanzees? I'm calling the legislature and see if I can get this overturned.

[jdmidwest]

That just racial.

[Feathers and Fins]

There is nothing wrong with having to register a monkey but you don't dare require people to have a voter ID.

[bfishn]

I've never been really clear when it comes to knowing the difference between a monkey and a person, I'm glad the law cleared that up;

"Person" means an individual, a partnership, a corporation, an organization, or another legal entity or an officer, a member, a shareholder, a director, an employee, an agent, or a representative of a partnership, a corporation, an organization, or another legal entity;

"Primate" means a live individual animal of the taxonomic order Primates, excluding humans.

And there (where no one noticed) is the buried treasure in this bill. Re-read the newly-legal-in-Arkansas definition for a person and chew on it a bit.

The lack of corporate responsibility has always bugged me, maybe if they're legally "people" they can be held acountable like you or me.

I'll believe it when Texas executes a corporation.

[Quillback]

So if I create an organization called "Dogs are great" and have as the only member of that organization, my dog. Is my dog now a "Person"? And what the heck is a "Legal Entity"? Again, using the dog argument, since my dog is licensed, is he now a "Legal Entity"?

[bfishn]

Good question. Makes my head hurt. Rounding up your monkeys might be an easier task than answering that one.