vernon

Whew - thanks for that! Sometimes these guys prey upon my multiple inferiority complexes and I become overwrought with confusion and anxiety and I just don't know how or even if to respond. Now I'm going to go back to my new book, "Slopes and Hills and How to Discern the Differences Between Up and Down"

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong Scotty but wouldn't that be down hill?

Yeah, I agree - it was kind of a dump prior to that. But, boy, since then it's been as good as it gets. (I hope you're happy now. You finally coaxed me into this pending disaster.)

I didn't even know you liked Fresca.

I only wish I had any size.

Oh. My. God. If they ain't still mooin' they's burnt!

I truly pity those of you that work with your hands day in and day out. I've got some construction and mechanic friends whose hands are so swollen and red this time of the year that I guess they don't even notice cracks, cuts and splits like some of us wienies do. Yet another thing my in life to be thankful for.

Thanks Sam (just what you need - another nickname). I've been pretty close to doing it right I guess then. I am constantly applying either Lubriderm and or O'Keeffe's Working Hands in an attempt to ward off such afflictions but it never seems to work. Finger tips and the sides of my thumbs right at the cuticle are the killers. They're like paper cuts that actually ache and throb but the bleeders are the worst. I can't even imagine how much I'd whine if I had an actual "injury"! This time of the year I'm usually walking around with bandaids and athletic tape wrapped around at least one digit. I apply Neosporin and wrap with a band aid and then add a half wide strip of athletic tape to hold it in place. Of course every time I wash my hands I have to start all over and repeat the process but just haven't found a better way. I actually think that golf in cool/cold/dry weather is worse than fishing for some reason. Yet another reason to quit that stupid game and spend my golf ball money on more Ploppers!

If he and I were ever to venture out in a boat together there should probably be some sort of parental guidance involved. While I've never glued myself to the side of the boat I HAVE glued myself to the carpet on a number of occasions. And getting stuck to the towel that's sole purpose is to keep the glue off of me and other unintended locations is a given just about every time. Thumb to forefinger is another more often than not deal. It's never ceases to amaze me all of the places that I get stuck to that I have absolutely zero recollection of even being near prior to being stuck. Tuff to deny having touched yourself there though when you need to ask for help to pry yourself loose from you!

Curious what ol' Sam Drucker might recommend when it comes to Super Glue for Super Cuts on people hands? I've tried pretty much everything with equally mediocre results. Usually end up just gluing one of my finger tips to my palm or pants pocket and make the cut worse when I pry myself loose from myself.

I think there's 144 in a case so you should be good now (although that would be pretty gross).

Looks perfect. Well almost perfect. It's not the Vandam model after all.

You dog! I mean, you HOG! That's like so unbelievably RUDE! And the guys at Academy told me that mine was a one off, tour staff issue only that was a custom prototype designed specifically for Vandam until he realized that Johnny didn't really even make Ned's so he told them that I could have it! You might have just tore the sheet on this deal once and for all! I say again - HOG!

I'm sorry but I'm afraid it might be too late for lame explanations. We're going to have to confiscate your phone and the aforementioned made up bag. Yes, that's right - I said "made up" bag!

C'mon you guys! I showed you mine!

Not to sound judgmental but don't you think you should be able to do that from memory by now? Or do you just use the written material for the illustrations?

New Ned bag?!?! Let's see! Another "leak" of otherwise secure intel here!

I believe it was "leaked" from somewhere within your household. Need to tighten up your internet security a smidge it sounds like.

Attaboy! Just think, if the regular shipping and tax were only a little higher you could save even that much more!

That same thing happened to me two or three different times. Consequently, I got pizzed at my own incompetence and, in a fit of self rage, proceed to the Wal-Mart's (my dad always prefaced Wal-Mart with "the" for some reason) and bought FIFTEEN packages of the gooey magic! I put one on the workbench in the garage and one on the workbench in my little downstairs shop and the other THIRTEEN in the boat! Henceforth, all thirteen of the little boogers are strategically located from starboard to port and aft to bow and I will NEVER again find myself without an inexhaustible supply while on the water.

Troll!

Not "biting".

I have been know to "deflect" a time or two when under argumentative duress! Besides, I could never really initiate a negative ad campaign about you. But I could perhaps organize a boycott of all that great stuff that Donna unashamedly endorses while out in the boat with you. I'd bet anything that NONE of the manufacturers of her favorite products produce a SINGLE item specifically targeted for transgenders! I don't even know what the heck I am today for cryin' out loud much less what I'll be tomorrow and her endless pandering of these peddlers of discrimination isn't helping one bit! God I love all you guys.

I think I could probably get a Saudi friend of mine to kick in 20 - 30 million to back me if I decided to enter. It wouldn't guarantee me the win but I could sure get all over the papers and fill up a lot of TV time in southern Missouri/Northern Arkansas prior to take off! And just think of all the negative ad stuff I could run dragging Champ through the mud prior to the event! (Some of you might have already heard the stories about the fish body parts he sometimes grabs while landing them) Sadly, some OA "stars" think that they can get away with that kind of behavior you know? Sorry, Donna, if you get a little on you along the way but that's what happens when you so closely align yourself with a known cheater that constantly lies about how many fish he catches, where he catches them and what he uses to catch them. Heck, I might even organize a boycott of all that great wintertime outdoor wear that you promote around here!

Uh oh.