I'm jealous bro, I'd love to believe it but I just don't. I can only believe things that are believable.
I have had and seen positive things happen that honestly made me feel like someone/something was looking out for me or someone else, protecting us in some magical way. I have also seen incomprehensibly awful things happen for no reason whatsoever. And I have no doubt that you have also.
As far as all of the other faith based religions in the world are concerned, you too are an atheist. All self proclaimed believers are atheist when it comes to all of the other religions. I'm just one step further along, as I don't believe in any of them.
Dandy control tactic, it has been somewhat effective (that's debatable actually) for many many years....But is it real and true? I'm unaware of any evidence to support or even suggest it. When I look around, the evidence that I see leans heavily to the contrary. And I'm not comfortable teaching my children something that I'm not certain is true.
I was raised to believe the words of the Bible by sophisticated functioning alcoholics. I respected them because they cared and provided well for me.... but I grew up and actually read the Bible, and then I realized that they actually never did. I knew my parents very well, and if either one of them had ever actually read the stupid thing, they would have NEVER said to us kids that they believed it....and that we should too. Not a chance.
The passing down of "beliefs", with the caveat of "you must believe it or else".... is exactly what is going to screw up EVERYTHING. That's what I BELIEVE. ✌️ ....due to the pandemic.