Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!

GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?

GUARD: Mind your own business!

ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English knnnniggets. Thppppt!

GALAHAD: What a strange person.

ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!

GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!...... I fart in your general direction! . Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

Posted

LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.

ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade! [singing] How does it, uh... how does it work?

LAUNCELOT: I know not my liege.

ARTHUR: Consult the book of armaments.

MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.

BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"

MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.

BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

MAYNARD: Amen.

ALL: Amen.

 

I have to admit to being bad sometimes...when I get into an argument on non-Biblical subject on the internet and somebody starts quoting Scripture that has only marginal relevance to the subject, I always come back with the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch verses :)

Posted

 “Where you going? Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you’re out with the boys to boast and brag.” 

"Ohhh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found youuu!"

"darn your eyes!"   "Too late."

Posted
10 hours ago, Al Agnew said:

GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

We use that one here at the office a lot.

Actually, a lot of movie quotes get tossed around here at the old orifice. A good buddy of mine, who I worked with for 30 years, was the master. Miss having him here. Couple others:

'You #$%^ed up, you trusted us.'

'It was on company property, with company property. So double jeopardy -- we're fine.'

When we see deposit balances decline around Christmas (here at the bank) it's always because 'everybody wants to buy their son the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip.'

And when we get a margin call it's always, 'Margin call, Mr. Duke.'

'Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.'

 

John

Posted

Roll roll roll in za hay!

Verewolf. There there wolf!

What knockers! Why thank you Doctor!

What hump?!?

Posted

"I think it was 'Blessed are the Cheesemakers'.

I don't think it was meant to be taken literally, it referred to all manufacturers of dairy products.

I think it was blessed are the meek.

Oh, I'm glad they're getting something because they've had a hell of a time."

 

John

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.