I Know My Doctor Is Right But

[jdmidwest]

Every day on top of the dirt is to be used to its best advantage. 

We never know the time and place usually, but the end will come.  Medical treatments tend to shorten that time with the doses of poison and radiation they use.  I have used that in my calculations.  It probably zapped a good 10 years off my life.

[Terrierman]

I only know one thing for certain about how my days on this earthly plane will end - it won't be in a nursing home.

[oneshot 1]

6 minutes ago, Terrierman said:

I only know one thing for certain about how my days on this earthly plane will end - it won't be in a nursing home.

I told my Wife if I was put in Nursing Home I would have fun. She said they would tie me down.

Heard a good one the other day. My Mother in Law told my Brother in Law she moved here to help my wife because I was being put in Nursing Home because of my mind.

oneshot

[Terrierman]

There was this old gal in the nursing home who slipped in the old guy next door's room one night.  She shook him awake and whispered "it's time for super sex".  Old guy kind of half awake looks up and says "soup".

[oneshot]

Oh I’ve been there.

Was out drinking everyone had to pee. The Toilets were locked so we decided to go by the car.

Girls were all squatted in front of the car. I just went in front started going. This girl says do you mind? I said no go ahead.

My buddy was about to die laughing at back of the car.

oneshot