Fruitcake doesn't have to suck

[ness]

And while we wait, I'll tell my favorite monk joke:

A monk takes his vows and goes to live at a monastery where they are only allowed to speak two words every 10 years. After 10 years he goes to the Abbot who says, 'Brother, you have been here 10 years. What two words would you like to say?'

'Bed hard', said the monk.

Another 10 years pass, and the monk goes before the Abbot who says, 'Brother, you have been here 20 years. What two words would you like to say?'

'Room drafty', said the monk.

Another 10 years pass, and the monk goes before the Abbot who says, 'Brother, you have been here 30 years. What two words would you like to say?'

'Food cold', said the monk.

Another 10 years pass, and the monk goes before the Abbot who says, 'Brother, you have been here 40 years. What two words would you like to say?'

'I quit!', said the monk.

The Abbot replied, 'I'm not surprised --  you've been bitching ever since you got here.'

[Mitch f]

15 hours ago, ness said:

There's a Trappist monastery down in Ava, MO near the NFOW that makes fruitcakes. I stopped by a few years back and took a look around. Talked to Brother Dominic a bit -- the Trappists don't like to talk much  -- and brought a fruitcake home. They're a more traditional fruitcake. Not too bad. Website.

 

I always remember the tight-lipped Brother Dominic saying as I left, 'May your fortunes be like the capitol of Ireland -- always Dublin.'

 

Please tell me that this whole monastery story wasn't made up just for that punch line?!?!

[Mitch f]

BTW, what do call the Irishman who sits in back of the house on a small concrete slab?

wait for it........

 

Patty O'Furniture

[Mitch f]

Ok, my LAST Irish joke............because I'm Scotch Irish and have a ton of em

Clancy and Sean are old buddies, who love Scotch. They went together and purchased a bottle of 100 year old Scotch. Clancy asked Sean if, upon his death, would he pour the bottle of 100 year old Scotch on his grave. Sean, thought for a minute and said " Would ya mind if i ran it through me kidneys first?"

 

Don't forget to tip your waitress!

[ness]

2016 is in the oven!

Lotsa fruit, and not the candied kind:

Chopped it up and soaked it in dark rum for a few days:

Butter, brown sugar, flour, molasses, cinnamon, eggs, milk, etc.:

Doing mini loaves again this year: 

[Chief Grey Bear]

5 minutes ago, ness said:

2016 is in the oven!

Lotsa fruit, and not the candied kind:

Chopped it up and soaked it in dark rum for a few days:

Butter, brown sugar, flour, molasses, cinnamon, eggs, milk, etc.:

Doing mini loaves again this year: 

YES!!

[BilletHead]

     And YES again!

The BilletHead's

[ness]

Out of the oven and ready for a long winter's nap. A little rum will help them sleep

As Tom Petty said, 'The waiting is the hardest part.'

We'll wake them up a week or so before Christmas. 

Smells pretty dang good in here right now ?

[joeD]

Fruitcake doesn't suck. It's just no one wants to eat it, except people who insist on making it, saying, "No, you guys haven't tried mine. Here, have a piece.."

"Hmmm. Tastes like fruitcake." 

"No, thanks, one bite was enough... Oh look, I see a Seven Layer Salad, excuse me.."

[BilletHead]

Sounds like to me someone is jealous they have never been able to partake of the Ness fruit cake. Just like lays one bite is not enough ,

BilletHead