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Came across this -- somebody e-mailed it to me in 2007 and I've kept it since then. It was a simpler time :D

Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.  Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some  classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The Dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed whacker?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed whacker, I think that  you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a  family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed whacker."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed  up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed whacker?"

"No."

"Fag."

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2 hours ago, Mitch f said:

I need some of what this guy is smoking!!??

 

oldie but goodie!

 

Geez.

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I saw a Honda 3 wheeler with a yard cart attached to the rear hitch, in it was a goat and some other crap.  There was a Menard's cart guy standing there attending to the goat whilst the owner of the 3 wheeler did some shopping.  I really should have snapped a pic, but was laughing at the cart guy too hard.  Real life story from the Cape Girardeau Menard's store about 6pm this evening.

I met the 3 wheeler and the cart pulling out of a c store on the way there, did not even notice the goat.  All that I noticed was a vintage 80's model Honda 3 wheeler.  And some hick slurping a 44 oz soda.  I came out of the store and heard the goat all the way across the parking lot.  God only knows what county that one came from.

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