Just funny stuff

[Mitch f]

 

[Mitch f]

[ness]

I got it, I got it, I got.......

 

[snagged in outlet 3]

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8kConiBe2Wqvea_KkiEfbr6J2uITxMxEifJ9k0/?igshid=1xtq1lefdmu7e

[rps]

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find a grim-faced Constable waiting in the front yard. "We're sorry, Mr. O' Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said one of the officers.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O'Flynn asked. The constables looked at each other and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?

"Fearing the worst, Mr. O' Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O' Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked,

"What could possibly be the good news?"
The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr. O' Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?

"The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

[Mitch f]

[BilletHead]

[Johnsfolly]

11 hours ago, BilletHead said:

Though that is demeaning to Walter😀. He doesn't go around nibbling his wife's fingers in public or talk about kids playing with his hairy legs 😌.

[Johnsfolly]

Every year six elderly men have been going to Vegas to play high stakes poker. Harry was all in and lost $5K which was all the money that he had and he suddenly drops dead. The other five guys finish out their games as Harry is laying on the floor. Not wanting to have to tell his wife they cut cards to see who will make that call. Joe cuts a three of hearts and has to call Harry's wife. The other guys tell him to be gentle with her. Joe calls and Harry's wife answers. "Betty Harry asked me to call. He is embarrassed to let you know that he lost at cards. Well how much did he lose? $5K. You tell Harry that he shouldn't come home and he can just drop dead!" 

[Terrierman]

There were these four ironworkers who were good friends.  Ate lunch together every day, hung out in the bar after work, did all kinds of stuff together.  One day Jones fell off the 32nd floor to his death.  The other three were distraught and couldn't decide who was going to have to tell his wife.  Finally decided that Smith would do the job - they all said Smith, you got tact.  So reluctantly, Smith called Mrs. Jones.  When she answered he said "Are you the widow Jones?"  She said "I'm Mrs. Jones but I'm not a widow."  Smith says "The heck you ain't."  

Only being an ironworker and all he didn't really say "heck".