Just funny stuff

[Johnsfolly]

A man walks into a Tarot card reader's shop on a whim to get his cards read. The woman begins and says the standard vague answers as she is reading the cards. She pulls a card and abruptly states that very soon the man's mother in-law is going to meet with an untimely death. The man turns pale and is visibly shaken. He looks only at the flickering candles. Once he is able to regain his composure he asks the woman "Am I going to get away with it?!?" 🤣

[netboy]

What more can we say...

[netboy]

[Johnsfolly]

[Johnsfolly]

A blond woman gets stuck in a snow storm. Before she starts to panic she remembers what her father told her. "If you are ever stuck in a snow storm, stop and wait for a snow plow and then follow it." 

As she is waiting a snow plow passes her and she follows it. She follows the plow for about 45 mins when the driver stops, gets out, and asked her what she is doing. She tells the driver about her father's advice and that she was following him. The driver says, "Well I'm done plowing the Walmart  parking lot. You can follow me as I go and clear out the Best Buy lot!" 🤣

[Daryk Campbell Sr]

[Quillback]

[Johnsfolly]

[Quillback]

[Johnsfolly]

Jokes that @Daryk Campbell Sr would appreciate 😁

A man finds an old football at a second hand store. He asks the clerk the price on the bal. "$5", says the clerk. The man agrees to buy the ball. The clerk asks him if he wants the ball to be pumped up. The man agrees. The clerk pulls out a small hand pump and with a few pumps the ball is like new again.. The clerk hands him the ball and says that will be $10. The man says but you told me that the ball was $5 why is it $10 now. The clerk responds,"Inflation!" 🤣

A man walks into a hospital suffering from severe abdominal pain. The nurse at the desk tells him that he is in a children's hospital, that they don't have any beds or equipment that would accommodate a man his size, and that he should go to the hospital across town. The man is in too much discomfort to go to the other hospital. So the nurse talks to her supervisor and they contact the other hospital to get a bed and the equipment they need to help this man. As best he can the man sees many children and toddlers come in and be seen and leave. Even the nurses rotate out with a new crew. As the children get fewer and fewer the man goes up to the new nurse and asks when he is going to be seen. The nurse replies, "I'm  sorry sir the doctor will see you but you are going to have to be a little patient."🤣