Just funny stuff

[Quillback]

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower. The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."

The hunchback runs and jumps at the bell, striking it with his head. Sure enough, he rings the bell. The bishop asks him, "How did you learn to ring the bell like this?" The hunchback replies, "Actually, I first learned on the guitar," and walks over to a guitar on the wall and starts banging his head on it, and Lo! Beautiful music comes out.

So despite his misgivings, the bishop hired the hunchback to ring the bell.

Every day the hunchback comes in and rings the bell. One day, the hunchback decides to try to ring the bell louder. He goes to the farthest corner of the tower, and runs as fast as he can toward the bell. When he jumps up and hits it with his head, the bell rings clear and loud. Unfortunately, the hunchback hit the bell so hard he's a little groggy. He staggers around a bit, and falls out a window to the street below.

A crowd gathers around the hunchback's mangled body lying in the street; the bishop goes out to investigate the commotion.

The policeman arrives and again asks: "Who is this guy?" The bishop replies: "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."

The policeman then asks if the bishop can tell him anything about the hunchback. The bishop replies, "Not much, but he could play a guitar just like a ringing a bell."

---

The next day, a man (who has arms) arrives, claiming to be the hunchbacks brother. "Hi, I've come to take over my brother's job." The bishop offers his condolences for the loss of his brother, and then escorts him to the tower.

"Your brother used to ring the bell with his face," said the Bishop. "Will you do that, too, or will you use your arms?" The hunchback's brother replies "If my brother can ring it with his face, so can I!" So saying, he runs full bore at the bell, glances off it with his face, falls out the window and to his death in the street below.

The bishop rushes down to see what he can do for the poor man. A crowd gathers. A policeman arrives and asks the bishop "Do you know who this man is?" The bishop replies, "No, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

[Johnsfolly]

11 hours ago, N9BOW said:

I have many German counterparts! BTW.... That other post is spot on for some..

I resemble that remark by the way .

[Johnsfolly]

28 minutes ago, Quillback said:

"Not much, but he could play a guitar just like a ringing a bell."

Johnny be Good!!

I remember that joke. Funny then and still funny now !

[Johnsfolly]

45 minutes ago, Quillback said:

Well if this is going to turn into a bad jokes thread, I have a contribution.

A man with a harelip walks into a bar.  The bar tender has a wooden eye.

Man walks up to the bar, bar tender asks him if he'd like a drink.

The man says: "Would I, would I!"

Bartender says: "Harelip, harelip!"

I remember this one as well .

[Johnsfolly]

A dyslexic man walked into a bra!

A boy went out to catch the fog. He Mist!

 

[Mitch f]

Did you hear about the confused cross eyed seamstress who couldn’t “mend straight”?

[bfishn]

...or the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

[Johnsfolly]

32 minutes ago, bfishn said:

...or the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

This one would have my daughter on the floor laughing

[Mitch f]

34 minutes ago, bfishn said:

...or the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

Gotta love those classically old school mathematicians! 😂

[Johnsfolly]

36 minutes ago, bfishn said:

...or the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

Some things you just can't work out with a calculator or computer .