Members ShippishFaesh Posted July 31, 2017 Members Posted July 31, 2017 A man once walked into a library and ordered burgers and fries. The librarian replied, "Sir, this is a library." The man then said, " Oh, sorry." (Then in a whisper) "I'd like some fish and chips." Mitch f 1
Johnsfolly Posted August 19, 2017 Posted August 19, 2017 More dad jokes: To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket..you may hide but you can't run. How did the pasta start his joke? Gnocchi gnocchi... Did you hear about the guy that stole calendars? He got twelve months. Why didn't the toilet paper roll across the road? It got stuck in a crack. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says I will serve you but don't start anything. timinmo and Daryk Campbell Sr 2
Johnsfolly Posted August 19, 2017 Posted August 19, 2017 Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat into the water. If they fell forward they would still be in the boat. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A cantopener! What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Pea? It's not you it's Mia Mario! Daryk Campbell Sr and Mitch f 2
BilletHead Posted August 19, 2017 Posted August 19, 2017 7 minutes ago, Johnsfolly said: Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat into the water. If they fell forward they would still be in the boat. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A cantopener! What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Pea? It's not you it's Mia Mario! Oh boy, Bet Livie taught you all of those . grizwilson and Mitch f 2 "We have met the enemy and it is us", Pogo If you compete with your fellow anglers, you become their competitor, If you help them you become their friend" Lefty Kreh " Never display your knowledge, you only share it" Lefty Kreh "Eat more bass and there will be more room for walleye to grow!" BilletHead " One thing in life is for sure. If you are careful you can straddle the barbed wire fence but make one mistake and you will be hurting" BilletHead P.S. "May your fences be short or hope you have long legs" BilletHead
Johnsfolly Posted August 19, 2017 Posted August 19, 2017 Jackie and Livie have been watching dad joke battles. So they have just been spouting one after another. My friend died after drinking vanish. The end was terrible but the finish was fantastic. Statistics show that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Never lands! What did one twin say to the other? There is not enough womb in here for the both of us. What is at the bottom of the ocean and shivers? A nervous wreck! BilletHead and Daryk Campbell Sr 2
Johnsfolly Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Ok last one (at least for now) My dad has a heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo! Daryk Campbell Sr and Mitch f 2
snagged in outlet 3 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 15 hours ago, Johnsfolly said: Ok last one Thanks grizwilson and BilletHead 2
tho1mas Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Johnsfolly - Don't quit your day job. BilletHead, grizwilson and Johnsfolly 3
Johnsfolly Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I know that each of you got at least one chuckle out of those jokes as bad as they may have been! JestersHK, Daryk Campbell Sr, Mitch f and 2 others 2 1 2
BilletHead Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 27 minutes ago, Johnsfolly said: I know that each of you got at least one chuckle out of those jokes as bad as they may have been! Wouldn't admit to it, BilletHead grizwilson, Deadstream and Johnsfolly 3 "We have met the enemy and it is us", Pogo If you compete with your fellow anglers, you become their competitor, If you help them you become their friend" Lefty Kreh " Never display your knowledge, you only share it" Lefty Kreh "Eat more bass and there will be more room for walleye to grow!" BilletHead " One thing in life is for sure. If you are careful you can straddle the barbed wire fence but make one mistake and you will be hurting" BilletHead P.S. "May your fences be short or hope you have long legs" BilletHead
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