Just funny stuff

[Mitch f]

[liphunter]

Reminds me of that movie  Christmas Story. You know the one where the kid wants a new red ryder bb gun.

[Johnsfolly]

You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!🤣🤣🤣

One of my favorite Xmas movies!

[ness]

2 hours ago, liphunter said:

Reminds me of that movie  Christmas Story. You know the one where the kid wants a new red ryder bb gun.

With a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time  

[Johnsfolly]

1 hour ago, ness said:

With a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time  

It's  It's .. soap poisoning!

Oooohhh fuuuddge!!!!

Except I didn't say fudge.

[liphunter]

3 hours ago, Johnsfolly said:

You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!🤣🤣🤣

One of my favorite Xmas movies!

Nailed it buddy😁

[Johnsfolly]

Three men are at the bar having some drinks. As in most bar conversations where alcohol is involved, the conversation turned toward their experience as lovers. 

The French man said that he is a very good lover. He stated that he frequently rubs butter on his lovers and one woman screamed for three full minutes.

The Italian gentleman said that he rubs his lovers with the finest olive oils and has had one woman scream for five full minutes.

The last gentleman was Jewish and they are not known to be great lovers. But not to be outdone, he said that he has rubbed his wife with schmaltz and she screamed for 30 minutes straight.

The other to men thought that was remarkable and asked what he did exactly to get that tremendous response.

The Jewish man stated, "I wiped my hand on the curtains !"

[ness]

1 hour ago, Johnsfolly said:

Three men are at the bar having some drinks. As in most bar conversations where alcohol is involved, the conversation turned toward their experience as lovers. 

The French man said that he is a very good lover. He stated that he frequently rubs butter on his lovers and one woman screamed for three full minutes.

The Italian gentleman said that he rubs his lovers with the finest olive oils and has had one woman scream for five full minutes.

The last gentleman was Jewish and they are not known to be great lovers. But not to be outdone, he said that he has rubbed his wife with schmaltz and she screamed for 30 minutes straight.

The other to men thought that was remarkable and asked what he did exactly to get that tremendous response.

The Jewish man stated, "I wiped my hand on the curtains !"

Henny Youngman would be proud!

[Mitch f]

[Al Agnew]

In keeping with Johnsfolly's offering...

Three middle-aged married women are sitting around the kitchen table, discussing all the various things married women discuss when their husbands aren't around, and the subject turns to sex, and after a bit, to birth control.  The first woman says, "Oh, I've used the pill for the last 20 years, wouldn't use anything else."  The second woman says, "As you know, we are Catholics, so we use the rhythm method.  It's failed a couple times, which is one reason we have 6 kids, but for the most part it's worked all right."  The two of them look to the third woman...

She says, "I use the big-eye-bucket method."

They look at her quizzically.  Finally one of them says, "I'll bite.  What in the world is the big-eye-bucket method?"

The lady says, "Well, obviously I'm a pretty large, tall woman, and Charlie is quite a bit shorter than me.  But for some reason, we both like to do it standing up.  So he stands on a bucket to do it.  So when I see his eyes get big, I just kick the bucket out from under him!"