Just funny stuff

[Johnsfolly]

A few Far side cartoons.

[Mitch f]

I just figured out I love Alexa…does whatever I say with zero back talk 

[Johnsfolly]

9 hours ago, Mitch f said:

I just figured out I love Alexa…does whatever I say with zero back talk 

She's always listening 🙄

[Mitch f]

1 hour ago, Johnsfolly said:

She's always listening 🙄

She wants to be cherished! 😂😂😂😂

[Johnsfolly]

James is the butler working for an elderly billionare and his much younger and attractive wife. James could tell that she was not completely satisfied with her husband particularly in the physical sense. James knew from the lingering glances and eye contact that she wanted more from him if possible. One evening the billionare and his wife left for a charity event leaving James alone in the house. After about and hour his wife returned. James met her in the foyer and she pulled him upstairs to the bedroom. Once there she said "James please take off my blouse." James' hands had a slight tremble as he unbuttoned and removed her blouse. She then told him to take off her skirt. Again James' hands trembled as he did what she requested. A flush appeared on her skin as she told James to take off her bra. Now his hands were visibly shaking as he reached up and undid the clasp on her bra and he let out an audible gasp as it dropped to the floor. At last she finally told him to remove her panties. James' could barely hold his hands steady as he removed her panties.

"Now if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, YOU'RE FIRED!"🤣🤣

[awhuber]

[Johnsfolly]

Bob has been having terrible headaches for years and finally decided to go to the doctor to figure out what is wrong. After several tests the doctor calls Bob in for his diagnosis.

"Bob" says the doctor. "I have figured out the issue and with surgery we can cure you."

"What needs to happen?"

"It will require castration."

"What...?!?"

"You're testicles are pressing upon the base of your spinal column and that pressure is what is creating those terrible headaches. By removing your testicles the pressure will be alleviated and no more headaches. I'll give you some time to think about it and we can discuss it further."

Bob thinks about it and decides that he will go through with the operation because he just cannot take those headaches any longer. After his recovery, he is ecstatic that the operation worked. He no longer had any headaches. As he was headed home from the hospital he felt better than he has felt in a long long time, but that he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he felt like a different person. It was like he had a new lease on life. As he passed a men's clothing store, he decided that he would get a new suit to go with his new life. He tells the tailor that he wanted a new suit.

The tailor looks at him and without taking any measurements says "You look to be a 44 long."

That's right laughed Bob. How did you know?

I've been in this businees for 60 years and am good at my job says the tailor.

Bob tried on the suit and it fit perfectly.

As bob admired himself in the mirror the tailor asked "Would you like a new shirt to go with that suit?"

Bob thought for a moment and said that yes he would like a new shirt.

The tailor eyed Bob and said "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck" as he handed a shirt to Bob.

Bob was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in this business 60 years," quipped the tailor.

Bob tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Bob walked comfortably around the shop and the tailor asked if he wanted some new underwear. "you look like a size 36."

"A 36!" said Bob. "No you're wrong there. I wear a size 32 and have been for many years."

The tailor shook his head and said, "You can't be wearing a size 32. If you did, your underwear would have pressed your testicles against the base of your spine which would have given you terrible headaches!"

[Johnsfolly]

What a hero! He is so brave!

 

[Johnsfolly]

[Johnsfolly]