Just funny stuff

[Johnsfolly]

A young catholic couple were on their way to get married and were in a fatal car accident. They both arrived at the Pearly gates to be processed by St Peter to get into heaven. While there they wondered and asked St Peter if it was possible for them to get married in heaven. St Peter responded that he would go and find out. So he left the couple. He was gone for a couple of months. While he was gone the couple went through the pros and cons of being married for eternity. Another month went by and St Peter returned looking haggard. Yes he said you can get married in heaven was his response. The young man told him about their concerns with eternal matrimony and asked if things didn't work out whether they could get a divorce in heaven. With that St Peter broke down. With hands over his face he said "It took me three months to find a priest up here and do you how long it could be to find a lawyer!" 🤣🤣

[fishinwrench]

Ohhh, that's a GOOD ONE!  😁

[Johnsfolly]

John was a pharmacist in a small drug store but he was a poor salesman. Often he would not be able to find and sell what his client's needed. Peter the owner of the store noticed this and told John if he can not sell then the next customer would be his last! 

A man came in looking to John to provide him with something to stop his persistent cough. John could not find the cough syrup, but knowing that he could be fired he searched for another cure. He found and handed the gentleman a box of laxatives and told him to take them all at once. The customer did so and as he was walking down the street clutched his stomach and leaned against a pole. Peter asked John about the sale. John mentioned how he could not find the cough syrup and that he sold the man laxatives and told him to take them all at once. Peter was furious and told John that laxatives would not cure the man's  cough. John said that they would stop a persistent cough. He pointed to the man against the pole and said "Look he is afraid to cough!"🤣

[Johnsfolly]

Why is it that my wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters without asking.. But If I try on one of her dresses then "Now we need to talk!?! 🤣

[Johnsfolly]

I used to feel that I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure about that!🤣

One for @BilletHead

After going bald I kept my comb. I just couldn't  part with it! 🤣

[Mitch f]

Cringe worthy.....

Zuckerberg throwing spears with hearing protection 😳

[Johnsfolly]

My dog loves nothing more than rolling in a pile of leaves. We call him Russell😅

Dad how much should I sell my dead batteries for? How about free of charge?!?🤣

Dad will there someday be restaurants on the moon? Yes the food might be good but they won't have any atmosphere. 🤣

Dad why can't I text when my fingers are cold?? Because you might have typothermia! 🤣

 

[Mitch f]

2 satellite 📡 dishes got married

The wedding was boring but the reception was phenomenal! 

[Mitch f]

Is stealing Chick-FilA  sauce considered a felony or just a fowl?

[Mitch f]