Just funny stuff

[Quillback]

Marriage negotiations 101: My wife and I were up all night with a crying baby. I informed her I would quit crying if she let me go fishing.

[Quillback]

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

[curtisce]

The Priest and the Rabbi

So the rabbi gets on the airplane and is pleasantly surprised to find he is seated next to a Catholic priest. He introduces himself, and they begin a conversation. After a while the priest turns to the rabbi, lowers his voice, and says “Tell me rabbi, I don’t know much about your religion. Is it true you are not allowed to eat pork?”

The rabbi chuckles and says that, yes, it is true, he is not allowed to eat pork. He explains the laws of kosher.

The priest is both puzzled and amused. He leans toward the rabbi and asks “Have you really gone your whole life without pork? Have you never had bacon or ribs? Have you never tried it once, just out of curiosity?”

The rabbi is silent for a moment and then whispers “Well, yes, I did try ribs once, just out of curiosity.”

“Did you like it?”

“Oh, my, yes, I had ribs on a business trip to Memphis at Corky’s. They were wonderful! Did you know the founders of Corky’s were Jewish? I wish I could eat their pork all the time! Now you tell me Father, is it true that you are not allowed to have sex?”

“Yes, it is true. I am married to the church.”

“Tell me honestly Father. Have you never tried it, just once, just out of curiosity?”

The priest is silent for a moment, and realizing that his god already knew the truth, he whispered to his new friend “I must confess, I have had sex, but only once, with a nun.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, and finally the rabbi looks the priest in the eyes and quietly asks “Did you like it?”

“Not as much as ribs” was the reply.

[Johnsfolly]

Always wondered where it came from🤣

[Quillback]

[Hawg]

[fishinwrench]

[netboy]

[Johnsfolly]

A lawyer parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show off to his colleagues. As he is getting out of the car, a truck comes flying by and takes off the door of the car and goes speeding off.

Distraught the lawyer grabs his cell phone and calls for the police. Five minutes later the police arrive.

Before the officer can ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically. "My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined! No mateter how long it's in the shop, it simply will never be the same again!"

After the lawyer finishes his rant, the officer shakes his head in disgust. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life!"

"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?", snaps the lawyer.

The officer replies, "Didn't you notice that your arm was torn off?"

The lawyer looks down in horror and screams, "Oh my God! Where is my Rolex!" 🤣

 

[FishnDave]

"Good judgment comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgement." - Mark Twain