Just funny stuff

[Daryk Campbell Sr]

[Mitch f]

[fishinwrench]

[ness]

Kansas State coach Bill Snyder, on his players dumping a bucket of confetti on him instead of Gatorade on Wednesday night: "I think they realized that we could go back to the hotel and celebrate — or go back to the hotel and run around it all night."

[ness]

See above^

[Mitch f]

Thanks Gavin, I really needed this....

Ness, Thou paunchy elf-skinned giglet!!

[Mitch f]

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob ?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob ..
"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
 

[ness]

LOL!

Here's one I got in an e-mail the other day. Why you should always be on time:

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to give a speech before the dinner. The politician was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited.

"My first impression of the parish came from the very first confession I heard here -- and I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss' wife, was arrested several times for public drunkenness and had given a sexually-transmitted disease to his sister in law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things, and wondered if others in the parish were as sinful. But, as time went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and that I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished, the politician arrived -- full of apologies for being late. He went to the podium and began his speech. "I will never forget the day our parish priest arrived", the politician said. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

[Mitch f]

A beautiful, young scientific assistant was conducting a sex survey on an airplane. She was asking people when was the last time they had sex. After several people had been surveyed, she made her way to the pilot. When asked, he replied "1959".....seeing the shocked look on her face, he then looked down at his watch and said "well, it's only 21:10 right now!"

[Johnsfolly]

A few from my daughter:

Two paddlefish are swimming upstream and one of them runs into a concrete wall. It turns to the other and says "Dam what was that!"

What did Batman Say to Robin right before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the car!"

Have you heard about the invention of the shovel? It was ground breaking!