Just funny stuff

[fishinwrench]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdpcKEBn/?k=1

[snagged in outlet 3]

You know why Chinese children don’t believe in Santa?    Because they make all the toys.  

[Johnsfolly]

Three vampire bothers are discussing and bragging as to which is the strongest, smartest, and fastest.

The middle brother stated that he is the strongest and set off to prove himself. He took off at 100 mph and within 5 mins he came back with blood all over his mouth. He pointed to the village at a collapsed building and said, "See that rubble. I went in and sucked the blood of the family within that house and then tore it down with my own hands!" 

Both his brothers looked and they agreed that he is the strongest of the three.

The oldest brother stated that he was the most experienced and smartest of them all. He took off at 150 mph into the village. 25 mins later he returned with blood all over his mouth and neck. He too pointed at the village and said, "See that village. I was able to convince all of the villagers that there was a deadly virus and they should stay in their homes. Then I went into each home and killed and drank the blood of every villager."

The other two brothers were convinceed that since he was the oldest and most experienced that he was also the smartest of them all.

The youngest brother was not to be outdone by his siblings. He boasted that since he was the youngest and most fit that he was also the fastest of the three. He took off going over 200 mph. He returned within 10 seconds. His face was covered with blood. The brothers were astonished and asked what he had done. He pointed and said, "Do you see that giant tree a mile away from here?" The two brothers said yes that they saw that tree. "Well I didn't!" 🤣

[snagged in outlet 3]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdPNEWQLdMH/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

[Quillback]

One for JF.

[Johnsfolly]

4 hours ago, Quillback said:

One for JF.

Very nice Jeff😁

[Johnsfolly]

A drunk man sees a woman at the bar. He goes over to her and passionately kisses her. She pushes him away and slaps his face. I looks at her and apologizes.

"You look just like my wife."

"Well you just stay away from me you dirty, stinking drunk!"

"You even sound like her!" 🤣

[Johnsfolly]

Two hunters were out hunting when they came up to a deep dark hole. The one asks the other how deep he thought the hole might be. "We could drop something down into it and listen to hear how deep it might be." So they looked around and found an old transmission. Both of them carried it to the hole and tossed it in. As they were listening for the sound of it hitting the bottom they heard a heavy rustling in the brush. All of the sudden a goat came running at them and jumped into the hole. Neither of the hunters could make any sense for the goat jumping into the hole like that. An old farmer came running up the hunters.

"Did you guys see my goat go by?" " We just saw him run at us and jump into this hole", they replied. "That's impossible. He was chained to an old tractor transmission!"🤣

[Johnsfolly]

A hunting themed laugh out loud funny video!

 

[Johnsfolly]

Two Irishmen, Paddy and Mick were working in a sawmill.

One day Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the arm in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the hospital. The next day Paddy goes to the hosptial and asks how Mick was doing. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in rehab exercising."

Paddy couldn't believe it, but there was Mick out in the rehab center exercising his now re-attached arm. The very next day he was back at work at the saw mill.

A couple of days go by, and Mick slips and severs his leg with another mill saw. So Paddy wraps and put the leg in a plastic bag and takes Mick and his leg to the hospital. Next day he calls in to see Mick at the hospital and the nurse says, "He's out in rehab again exercising." Paddy goes to the rehab center and there is Mick running on the treadmill. Soon after Mick is back at work at the mill.

Within a couple of days of his return, Mick once again slips and falls into the saw severing off his head. Wearily Paddy put the head in a plastic bag and takes it along with Mick to the hospital. As Before Paddy visits the next day to check up on his friend. When he asked how Mick was doing the nurse breaks down and cried, "Mick is dead!" Paddy is shocked but not surprised. "I guess that the mill finally did him in." 

"No." says the nurse. "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated!"🤣