Johnsfolly Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 I knew that I was pretty smart. I confirmed that by scoring a 170 on an online IQ test. I just had to answer three questions. 1) What is my credit card number? 2) what is my social security number? 3) What is my birthdate? 🤣🤣 fshndoug, snagged in outlet 3 and Quillback 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnsfolly Posted January 16, 2022 Share Posted January 16, 2022 If I had 50 cents for every failed math test that I took in High School, I would have had $6.30 by the end of my Senior year. 🤣 Quillback, nomolites, BilletHead and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moguy1973 Posted January 16, 2022 Share Posted January 16, 2022 The grocery store had some alligator meat for sale so I bought it. I read the best way to cook it is in a croc pot. Any truth in that? David Unnerstall, Quillback, snagged in outlet 3 and 3 others 1 5 -- JimIf people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. -- Doug Larson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillback Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 BilletHead, tho1mas, Johnsfolly and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnsfolly Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down🤣 Quillback, Daryk Campbell Sr, snagged in outlet 3 and 3 others 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnsfolly Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 It was an unfortunate day that Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth died on the same day. Both meet St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter admits that at that time only one could get into heaven. So he asks Ms Parton why she should be let into heaven. She pulls up her shirt and says this is the best pair that God has ever made and that God himself would want to see them in heaven. St Peter acknowledged her attributes. He turned to the queen asked the same question. Without saying a word other than to ask for a perrier. As soon as the drink came the queen opened the bottle and drank it down. She then went to the bathroom. As she was done she flushed the toilet. After which St Peter let her into heaven. Dolly was upset and asked why the queen was let in. St Peter said that a royal flush will always beat a pair regardless how big they may be.🤣🤣 Deadstream, tho1mas, nomolites and 3 others 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moguy1973 Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 How late do the cows get to stay up? Pasture bedtime. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. How do trees access the internet? They log in. BilletHead, Johnsfolly, snagged in outlet 3 and 1 other 1 3 -- JimIf people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. -- Doug Larson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FishnDave Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 PONDERISMS Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke? Go ahead and try it... I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?(Taxes!) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? (I was wondering myself at this...) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS? Johnsfolly, BilletHead, bfishn and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishinwrench Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 46 minutes ago, FishnDave said: PONDERISMS Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke? Go ahead and try it... I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?(Taxes!) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? (I was wondering myself at this...) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS? Those are great! 😁👍 FishnDave 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snagged in outlet 3 Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 2 hours ago, fishinwrench said: Those are great! 😁👍 You just liked the dog one didn’t you?😆 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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